Tamil Proverb:
பள்ளிக்கு வைக்காமற் கொள்ளிக்குக் குறைத்து வைத்தார்.
English Translation:
My father not only neglected to put me to school, but left me to bear the expenses of the fire brand.Under this proverb a general note on funeral rites may not be out of place. The particulars given relate to Hindu families generally, not to brahmans.When a person dies, the grief of the females in the family bursts out into loud lamentations. On its being made known by a conch-blower that a death has occurred, the neighbouring females go to the house, add the expression of their sympathy, and all unite in one general wail. Frequently one of the company, the mother, or it may be a professional person, breaks out into an ascription of praise regarding the deceased uttering a sort of elegy in measured cadence. In this case when a climax is reached, all join in a chorus of grief, and some may smite their breasts and tear their hair. In such elegies, which are often of a touching kind, the personal beauty, the talents, the learning and the prowess of the deceased are dwelt on.The body being taken out is bathed and dressed as in life. In the case of females the gold and pearls and precious stones, if she possessed them, will be put on. The sectarial marks will be added. The chárpoy on which the corpse has been laid out is then carried into the house. Again the females seat themselves around it and pour forth a torrent of grief, or at any rate make a loud noise. A kinsman whose business it is to attend to the customary observances spreads a cloth on the chárpoy to hold rice, called,—rice for the mouth. The females of the family take a little of the grain and put it on the corpse near the mouth. The same ceremony is performed by the male members of the family at the place of cremation. The family barber appropriates the remaining rice. At the burning ground the kinsman who conducts the ceremonies carries a pot of water round the pyre and the conch-blower follows him and makes an incision in the pot with his conch, when the barber puts four bits of sandal or other wood into the hands of the kinsman and points out the places in the pyre where they are to be inserted. The leaking pot is then taken by the barber to be broken near the head of the corpse. The kinsman hastens away that he may not hear the noise of the pot when broken, nor see the burning pyre. Then the barber receives permission to break the pot and to ignite the pyre.On the next or on an early day the male friends of the deceased assemble at the place of cremation. The skull, the breast-bone and the bones of the hands having been abstracted from the ashes and deposited in a convenient place covered with a plantain leaf, are by the nearest of kin smeared with oil, ghee and honey and covered with flowers, whilst a priest recites appropriate incantations in the presence of the relatives. A pot of milk having been provided for this ceremony, the relatives take a sprig of coronilla grandiflora and having dipped it in the milk, sprinkle the relics, which are then put into an unburnt earthen vessel, covered with cloth to be cast into a sacred stream or bestowed on the ocean wave. Of course these elaborate rites are dispensed with by the poor.I have seen Hindus, not by any means in abject circumstances, convey a corpse to the seaside, where a grave had been hastily dug, take off the cloth and ornaments, wrap the body in a common mat, and bury it with the burial of a dog.In the year 1830 when travelling in Bengal I saw, on the bank of the Damooda, a sorrowing brahmanical father with two or three attendants dispose of a corpse with but little ceremony. The father himself who was much affected ignited the pyre.",